holiday?

well, happy holiday everybody!
i only got 2 weeks for holiday, so i should plan this properly and carefully. let's see what i can do for this holiday!
1. driving lessons
2. trip to jogja, or go to the dentist
3. doing my homework, reading newspaper and stuff
4. writing some kind of story or novel or whatever


somehow, it sounds boring... sigh...

insecure

so, about three days ago, on saturday, i accompanied my mom to this holistic hospital, she had some kind of bad cough. and i was waiting outside the examine room, reading paper and stuff, when a guy decided to sit in front of me, and asked me some question. "Hey, why are you here?" "What's wrong with you?" i don't know, something like that, blame me and my horrible grammar and my vocabulary. the point is... the time that guy decided to open his mouth and asked me some question, was the same time when i was rising my left eyebrow. i found that i don't like to be asked by some random guy or people in public place. i did answer his questions, with the shortest sentence i had in my mind. five seconds later, i ran away into examine room and biting my lips.



i never knew that i was so insecure,no, i mean... that i am so insecure...



i should work on it, shouldn't i?!

G*D, i'm exhausted!

ok, fine, that's it! no more moaning about that guy! (i hope...)
he's so last year!

time to change!


cut it out girls, let's think about your future (my future)!
yep, that's it,
my own future.


i can make it, i can stand on my own feet.


because i am independent! (yeah, that's my promise to myself and my prayer...)

sometimes,

picture:'smoke' by jessica Runkel on www.deviantart.com

sometimes,

i wish i could smoke like a man,

or drink some alcohol,

that would help for me,

i guess.



but, i'm sure, i'm much more stronger than that. i suppose...

my bad behaviour, attitude, character, or whatever...

i am annoying, aren't i?

i lost my faith on myself

picture bleed the sky on deviantart

somehow, i do not believe in happy ending.